So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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