did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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