I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
