Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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