I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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