Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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