I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
