I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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