U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
The beer is more important than you right now.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
