im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Too much gin, very little bucket
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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