I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
