Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
