i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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