what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
