TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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