how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
