I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
