I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
