He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
