oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
he thought i was a dude.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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