You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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