my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
