Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
