I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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