my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
