What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
