I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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