He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
