Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
