I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
