He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize