Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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