Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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