I wanna bring you to show and tell
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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