worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Randomize
