just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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