I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
