I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Two words: blizzard sex
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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