So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize
