is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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