butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
