is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
