then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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