All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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