He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize