This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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