my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
