I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Less talking, more tequila
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
