I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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