i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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