she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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