WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
