Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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