It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
