Slut skills are useful in every country.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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