I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
