The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
