Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
