New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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