I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
