it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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