Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
