shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
